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Lee Xin Hui; 95-liner.
I wish I have more
to tell you.
I really do.
Thursday, July 25, 2013, 10:17 PM
Heartbeat ,

Last post before A's I promise !
Everytime right after i say that , I'll have smth burning to share without fail , ugh .

 My sister's gonna start her university life soon and she's gonna stay in the school's hostel . 
Really dk how I'm gonna bear that , I cried because I missed her so much just because she went to camp for a week . And somehow , I'm sure we're gonna grow apart if she really live outside . 
Every day after school without fail , the first thing I ask my mum after greeting her when i come home would be , "Where's jiejie?" . Now , I have no one to share my stories with , no one to complain to , no one to bother and irritate , no one to help me do stuffs , life's gonna be so much more torturous . Just thinking about it makes me sad already . Some things I can't share with mum but only with her . Even tho sometimes I hate her so much and feel like stabbing her , but of course I still love her . 
I'll miss going into her room just to stare at her creepily until she ask me to scram , going into her room to disturb her and talk non-stop even when she's watching her videos and ignoring me . Even tho she tunes me off , but I know she do listen . No one to show videos to when I get excited about things , no one to complain to , and no one to bully . Everytime someone gives me something , if there's more than one , i'll always give the other one to her . Even if it's my fav choco . And yet I always steal her stuffs by whining and whining until she gets irritated and decided to give me her things . Then we always have to argue about stupid things like how to pronounce Kalel's name , how generals in the past greet the emperor and other randomly stupid things . And I'll always orce her to listen to my school stories , watch videos and listen to whatever song is my fav at that time . And push all the crappy chores to her . I'm gonna miss her so much , I'm not even sure if she'll miss me as much .

 After all these years , one thing I learnt about myself is that I'm rather possessive and selfish . I 've come to realise why even tho everyone else loves him to bits , I can't find anywhere in my heart to like yeekiat or even just bear the sight of him . Because I hate how much my family loves him , I was the precious girl in the family , not him . This seems so childish but so what , I am childish . I've come to become to dependent on my family to be there for me , I dk what I'll do without them really . I guess I'm still a child huh .